Wednesday, April 12, 2006


by Sylvester Brown Jr.
"If You're Not Completely Appalled, Then You Haven't Been Paying Attention..."
My wife's bumper sticker speaks volumes about America's response to the capers of the Bush administration, but only partly.
Within the past few months, we've heard about the president's illegal wiretapping program, his efforts to allow takeover of American seaport operations by a state-owned business in the United Arab Emirates, and his recently exposed plot with Britain's Tony Blair to start the war in Iraq even if no WMDs were found.
Then, last week, we learned Bush directed Vice President Cheney to leak classified information (already proven false, by the way) to bolster the case against Iraq. The winking and nodding that insued ultimately exposed a CIA agent, Valerie Plame. Why? To discredit Plame's husband, former ambassador Joseph C. Wilson, who dared to challenge Bush's whopper of a tale about Saddam Hussein's attempts to obtain "yellowcakes," a processed form of natural uranium ore, for his nuclear weapons program.
Are Americans paying attention? Some are, but it seems to make little difference. The Bush crowd figured out a long time ago that the attention span of many Americans lasts about as long as OxyContin in Rush Limbaugh's briefcase. All the administration has to do is deny, deny, deny and sprinkle the debate with a few cliches like "executive privilege" and "war on terror." They then turn to Limbaugh, Ann Coulter and other journalistic prostitutes (those at the FOX News brothel included) to parrot the rhetoric and Presto! our A.D.D.-challenged electorate gets distracted by the pretty, red, white and blue balloons.
It's not like credible information isn't available. Last week's Washington Post article painstakingly laid out how Cheney's former top aide, I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, followed orders giving select members of the press "select" classified information to discredit Plame's husband. HuffingtonPost Blogger, Larry Johnson, offers an excellent chronology of events that blows away any doubt that the president lied (and kept lying) about the whole sordid Plame affair.
Yet, the masses of voters act as if all is well in the White House. Why? Because "the facts" are more complicated -- the evidence not as visible as a stain on a blue dress.
If Democrats and the so-called "liberal" press ever want to get serious about exposing the president's follies and contradictions, they'll have to find a better, more effective means to communicate. Forget about blogs, mass e-letters and in-depth investigative reports. That's a waste of time with the majority of lazy Red State voters.
Maybe the progressives ought to borrow a tried and true method that helped millions learn the "basics." Maybe it's time to communicate with the uninformed, uninspired voters on another level. Maybe it's time for a simpler approach:

Red State Reader Books


"Come, George, come and see," said Dick.

"What is it, Dick? I can't see," said George.

"Yellowcakes, yellowcakes, see, George, see. See the mean brown man with yellowcake? He wants to blow up the world. We should tell everyone," said Dick. "Every boy and every girl."

"I'll pretend to see," George said. "Will everyone else see, like me?"

"Don't worry, George, we'll make sure they all see what we see," said Dick.

"This is a happy day for me. A happy, happy day," George clapped.


George was sad. No one believed he saw yellowcakes.

Mean old Joe said there was no such thing.

"George told a lie, lie, lie," Joe told everyone.

Dick was mad at Joe for making George sad. Dick was mad, mad, mad.

"Don't worry, George. I'll stop Joe. You wait and see."

"How?" asked George.

"I'll tell his secret," said Dick. "Then everyone will stop believing Joe and believe you again."

George was afraid. He and Dick were team leaders. They were supposed to play by the rules. Revealing team secrets is wrong, wrong wrong, George thought.

"Oh, no, Dick. If we tell, we might go to jail."

Dick laughed at George.

"Ha, ha, ha. Don't worry George. I will tell Scooter to tell. He will tell. We won't go to jail. Never, never, never! We will never go to jail."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," George said.

Scooter said, "Come here, Judy."
"Come here, Matt."
"Come here, Bob."
"See, see, see? See what Dick wants you to see?"

"I see," said Judy.
"I see," said Matt.
"Where? Where?" asked Bob.

"Will you tell all the others?" Scooter asked. "Will you all tell?"

"I don't know," answered Matt.

"Pretend I was never here," said Bob and Bob ran away.

"I'll tell, I'll tell," said Judy, happily. "I told everyone about the mean brown man with yellowcakes. I'll tell this, too."
"I will tell everyone what Dick wants us to see. Tell, tell, tell," Judy sang.
George was sad. The team found out he and Dick were telling secrets.
Matt had told. Bob had told. Judy went to jail. Scooter might go to jail, too.
George was afraid that he and Dick might get kicked off the team.
He started to cry.
Dick laughed at George.
"Ha, ha, ha. Don't cry George. The team will blame Scooter, not you, not me. Scooter will go to jail but we won't. Never, never, never! We will never go to jail."
Dick gave George a pretzel and let him sit on his lap.
George felt much better.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you, Dick," George said.
And George fell fast asleep.
Other Red State Reader Books:
Dick and George Steal an Election (Parts 1 & 2)
Dick and George Go to Church
Dick and George and the Scary Hunting Trip
Dick and George Have Fun With the Constitution
Dick and George Go to Jail


Blogger Urban Review - St. Louis said...

Great post! You are so right that this is so more complicated than a stain on a blue dress. But, thanks to you I got a visual of Cheney in a blue dress being stained by Bush. Eeeeewwwww!

Friday, April 14, 2006  
Anonymous artemus ward said...

you have a gift for satire, and are pointing it in the right direction, in the tradition of brave americans who see wrong, and try to right it. may you prosper in your blog, which, by the way, seems to be written from a more liberated standpoint than your regular column, although i very much enjoyed sunday's story.

Monday, April 17, 2006  
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Monday, April 17, 2006  
Blogger Dyan said...

Gave him a pretzel and let him sit on his lap, that did it, I spit my soda. Thanks alot Sylvester!

Tuesday, April 18, 2006  
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Wouldn't work. Bush would just sit there and read the book while his aides whispered in his ear that the sky is falling.

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